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The following comment was posted by Anonymous on Friday, December 04, 2020 4:41:00 AM:
"I've been waiting a long time to write this comment because I don’t even know what to say anymore. So far this path make me feel like there’s no purpose and I just don’t want to Exist anymore. All I get is obstacles waiting at every door, I get rid of one and 20 is behind it.
This quest has turned me into a broken man, I am not selfish but I wish that I never came to being, I live two lives with no end in sight. The delusion of this world is pure Insanity/ I don’t see nothing good but working as a confused machine, I used to believe that something good would come out of this but I no longer believe so."
My friend,
You have reached what is known as "the nadir" of your existence. It is the point at which you consciously realize that "All is vanity and vexation of Spirit".
When we are engrossed in the pursuits of the world, that is where our focus lies. Our consciousness is tuned in that direction. Earthly striving consumes us. Unknown to many is the fact that this world is a temporary nature-order. Nothing in this world is permanent. If you consider this deeply for a time you should be able to confirm this for yourself.
What is lasting in this world? What is it in this world that does not rust, or rot, or fade, or dissolve, or evaporate, or die? Everything comes into manifestation for a time and then passes on, transitioning into some else. This applies not only to material things but to our personal interactions and relationships. Nothing stays the same. Everything rises, shines and then fades. If we can understand this law, we can perhaps navigate the physical nature order with a minimum level of frustration and disappointment. When we struggle against this law, we are met with what we deem to be "obstacles".
"Obstacles" are created by our own unfulfilled desires. When there are things that we want that we cannot achieve, we perceive this failure to achieve as being caused by some obstacle. The obstacle, in fact, is our own state-of-consciousness. We believe that we can wring "happiness" out of this world when in truth, this world is not designed to provide us with happiness. Remember, this is a temporary nature-order. Humanity, as a life-wave, really does not belong here. Our purpose on Earth is to recognize that Earth is not our home and to take steps to detach ourselves from this nature-order and find the Path that leads back to the Divine Kingdom, our true Home.
At this critical point, the Divine Spark within your heart can begin to reach you. It is the only part of the human-being that is not connected with this physical existence. It is a remnant of our former existence in Divine realm. It is the central point in our microcosm and has been silently calling for us to return home for long ages of time.
This nadir that you have reached is an important first step on your journey Home. You are seeing the futility of all earthly striving and are asking what is next. When we reach this nadir we should "be still" and listen for the silent call that issues continually from our Divine Spark, the Rose of the Heart. To be still, does not mean to sit quietly without moving or speaking. It means to stop our striving in the world beyond that which is necessary to live - the biological and social minimums. It means to silence the clamoring of the astral body by adopting an attitude of neutrality. It means to redirect our consciousness away from its focus on earthly striving for the sake of fulfilling the various desires of the selfish "I". It means to step back and allow the Other One that lives imprisoned within us to begin to emerge, to reestablish the link between Spirit and Matter and to reclaim its position as the guiding force behind our earthly personality.
It may be difficult to believe, my friend, but you are exactly where you should be if you wish to make a clean break from the chains that have bound you to the earth for thousands of lives. The nadir indicates that there is now only one direction in which you can go, and that is upwards, to the Heights.
Perhaps you can obtain some insights here:
https://goldenrosycrosscommunity.org/
~ g
